Paul Doesn’t Know He’s in a Christian Band
Paulo Rodriguiz Indigo Montoya Gonzalez, the new bassist for Mustard Smile, remains oblivious to the fact that he is in a Christian rock band, sources reported Tuesday.
Paul Rockin’ for Jesus.
“Mustard Smile’s great,” said Paulo, 25, who is unaware of his bandmates’ devotion to Christ, despite playing on such songs as “Wade In The Water,” “Eternal Life,” and “Kiss Of The Betrayer.” “We rock really heavy and hard, but we’ve got a positivity that you don’t see in too many bands these days. I’ve only been with these guys for three months, but I feel like it’s the perfect fit for me.”
Paulo, who joined the Edmonton-based band in March after responding to a “bassist wanted” ad in a local newspaper, said he was attracted to Mustard Smile for its music, which he calls “really intense and powerful,” as well as its impressive stage show.
“I was between bands after Raging Steed broke up,” Paulo said. “I went to check them out live and was just blown away. They had this awesome Black Sabbath-type stage set, with all these crucifixes and candles everywhere. Then, during [the song] ’False Idol,’ a gold cow rose from the stage and [guitar player] Shane [Douglas] beat the shit out of it with his guitar. I thought, man, these guys put on a kick-ass show.”
Paulo was also wowed by the range of Bush’s music.
“Bruce’s amazing,” Paulo said. “He writes all these super-heavy, Metallica-influenced tunes like ’My Master’ and ’Blood Of My Father,’ but then he’ll turn around and write a killer love song like ’Thank You (For Saving Me).’”
“Actually, Bruce writes a lot of songs about chicks,” Paulo continued. “’Your Love,’ ’When You Return,’ ’I Confess’... I don’t know if they’re all about the same girl or lots of different ones, but one thing’s for sure: Bruce loves the pussy.”
Paulo said he is awed by his new bandmates’ encyclopedic knowledge of heavy metal and hard rock.
“At the audition, [drummer] Adam [Sharpe] said Mustard Smile was going for a Believer-meets-Living Sacrifice sound,” Paulo said. “I didn’t know Bruce about either of those bands, but I knew I could play bass like a motherfucker, and that’s what got me the gig. Afterwards, I asked Adam what Living Sacrifice sounded like, and at the first practice, he gave me a tape. It’s not Slayer, but it rocks. He’s given me some other stuff by Whitecross, Third Day, and Stigmata. I’ve always prided myself on knowing metal, but these guys put me to shame. They must really have their ears to the ground to know all this music I’ve never heard before.”
Because Bush, Douglas and Sharpe are in what they call “a committed relationship with someone very special,” Paulo has found himself to be the only member of Mustard Smile open to “hot groupie action.” But despite having the band’s female fans all to himself, Paulo has had little success.
“A lot of hot chicks are really into Mustard Smile,” Paulo said. “After our first few shows, I thought I’d be getting more trim than a barbershop floor, but it hasn’t worked out that way. Whenever I ask them to come back to the bus with me, they say, ’I can’t do that—that’s not right.’ I’m like, ’Come on, this is rock ’n’ roll.’”
Though he said he loves playing with Mustard Smile, Paulo conceded that the relationship has not been without its moments of tension. He recently became upset with his bandmates over their unwillingness to play concerts on Sunday. “We got an offer to play at the weekly Sunday Metal Spotlight down in Calgary, which would expose us to a whole new audience,” Paulo said. “The guys said playing the Spotlight wasn’t an option because Sunday was their ‘day of rest.’ Hey, I like kicking back and decompressing on Sundays, too, but we’re a young band trying to establish ourselves. These guys need to get their priorities straight if they’re serious about making it.” Mustard Smile is currently preparing to embark on a Canadian tour in support of its debut album, Sanctified, to be released January 10 on the band’s own Wytness Records label.
Mustard Smile Vocalist Threatens to Leave Band Over Creative Differences
Everything Bruce knows, he learned from this man.
After ten years as lead vocalist for the Edmonton-based cover band Mustard Smile, Bruce W. Bush announced Monday that he is considering leaving the group over creative differences.
“We just reached a point where we had very different ideas about where this band is heading,” Bush said. “While the other guys wanted to go in a more power-ballad oriented direction, I felt that we should be focusing on rocking out more.”
Bush said he plans to embark on a solo career, starting a Journey tribute act. The most likely replacement for Bush in Mustard Smile is George Pilanté, currently lead singer of Sparkling Horse, a Calgary-area Level 42 tribute band.
Mustard Smile to Get Dolled Up—Action Figures to be Released Next Month
Now with amazing Kung-Fu Grip!
“We hate when people call us ‘dolls,’” frontman Bruce W. Bush laughed. “We’re definitely action figures. We’re bigger than ‘Star Wars’ [figures] and fully articulated, and our faces are digitally scanned. We’re totally rad.”
“Nobody was really surprised when they found out we were getting action figures of ourselves. They were like, ‘Oh, finally.’ ”
Bush is referring to the brand-new set of PlayCo™ action figures made by Matchel Toys, and due in stores next month.
“They’re very realistic. We’re wearing cool suits and we’ve got elbow joints. They’re really poseable and rad,” Bush added. “You can make them do things like shake violently or save a cat from a tree.”
Mustard Smile action figures include:
- Two optional heads, with different rock star expressions.
- Instrument accessories include a guitar, a bass, a microphone and a 5-piece drum kit.
- Peel ’n stick tatz, including a dragon, naked lady, and a hotrod with flaming wheels.
- Four interchangeable hairpieces: a mohawk, mullet, ’fro, and long airborne headbanger hair.
- Extra pieces are included for the arms, thighs, hips, and torso.
Rules for the Ultimate “Band Posing in Front of a Brick Wall” Photo
Lynyrd Skynyrd or Metallica tribute band?
No band’s press-kit is complete with out the obligatory photo of the band posed out in front of a brick wall. There are several important rules that every band should follow when posing in front of a brick wall.
- At least one member of the band has to be crouching over. A hand on the knee gets extra points.
- Two or more members must look very serious. Adversely, one member needs to be grinning like an absolute moron.
- The drummer must be holding drumsticks. All the great drummers like Peter Criss and Tommy Lee started out using this technique.
- Head tilting is very important. An angle of 10 to 15 degrees is perfect for showing that "I don’t care attitude."
- Attire—leather jackets, ripped jeans, wife-beaters and 3 dollar sunglasses are all good choices.
- One member should have a shaved head. Also, a good combo with a shiny head is "The Mook".
- At least one band member should have their arms folded. Arm-folding is a great way to show defiance—stick it to the man!
- No one should stand straight. Body weight must be distributed to one leg. This can be managed by leaning against the wall or possibly a nearby garbage can.
- Get your mom or girlfriend to take the photo. An off-balance photo with bad composition and color is the only way to the get an authentic look.
Visit the band photo hall of fame at Rock & Roll Confidential.
Band’s Van Breaks Down—‘Shit,’ Says Drummer
Fine automobile engineering.
Mustard Smile suffered a major setback on its path to fame last weekend, when its 1981 Dodge Ramvan broke down én route to a show in Edson.
The recent van breakdown elicited strong reaction from members of the rock group, ranging from ‘Shit’ to ‘Dude, that totally sucks.’
‘Shit’ said drummer Adam Sharpe, 30 minutes after the incident occurred. ‘That sucks big-time.’
The unexpected engine failure, which Sharpe attributed to ‘like, something near the front snapping,’ cost Mustard Smile’s members $30 each for a tow truck and caused them to miss their 9 p.m. slot opening for fellow Morinville rockers Bulletproof Pope.
‘Dude, that could have been our big break,’ said guitarist Shane Douglas. ‘Guys from Swackhammer [Records] were supposed to be coming to check out Bulletproof Pope. They might have signed us too.’
‘Totally,’ said bassist Paulo Rodriguiz Indigo Montoya Gonzalez.
According to mechanics at O’Shea Auto Service, the van will not be ready until next Tuesday, forcing Mustard Smile to miss a headlining appearance Friday night at friend Mike Hillyard’s party.
‘Shit,’ said Adam. ‘That’s gonna be a great party.’
Mustard Smile Upstaged by Pre-Show Music
An album that changed the rock world forever.
Edmonton rock legends Mustard Smile, gigging at local St. Albert watering hole Yesterday’s Pub, were upstaged by the pre-show music on the venue’s sound system. ‘While we were setting up our stuff, [The Clash’s] White Riot was playing, and the crowd was going nuts,’ said guitarist Jeff Schmidt. ‘Then we started playing, and it got quiet and everybody just sort of drifted off to the bar.’ The band has previously been upstaged by Kiss’s Greatest Hits and the Young Guns II soundtrack.
Mustard Smile Loudly Discusses Record Deal at Alberts
The pancakes were quite good.
The five members of Mustard Smile, close to signing a deal with Toronto-based Ript Records, loudly discussed the deal at the Whyte Avenue Alberts Family Restaurant Monday. ‘We’ve gotta insist on 60 percent of the gross,’ said bassist Paulo Rodriguiz Indigo Montoya Gonzalez, speaking loudly enough for the highschool girls three booths over to hear. ‘If they try to go fifty-fifty, I say we take our demo to Spitfire Records.’ Lead singer Bruce W. Bush added that he should receive co-producer credit for the album, as the demo was burned on his iBook.
Adam’s Girlfriend Thinks He Should Sing
Adam in his former glory.
Adam Sharpe, veteran drummer with Mustard Smile is under pressure from his girlfriend Karla. No, not for a marriage proposal, but to sing. Karla, overheard Adam singing in the shower last winter and ever since has been pushing him towards showcasing his talents. As it turns out, Adam did some singing earlier in his career when he played with Redeemer Records recording artist Wytness, a Christian Rock band.
“You have such an amazing voice—just because you're the drummer doesn’t mean you can’t sing, too,” Karla told Adam after a gig. “Just look at Dave Grohl.”
She went on to ask Adam if there has ever been a band where the drum kit was positioned at the front of the stage. (Click for full size image.)
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